Mary and Brandan’s obsessive relationship continues to alarm viewers.
Brandan and Mary are revealing more about why their relationship is so obsessive. On Monday’s episode of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, Mary was able to calm down after suffering a panic attack that was triggered by Brandan calling her out on her extreme jealousy, but Brandan broke down as well and shared the troubling reason why Mary is so important to him.
Mary and Brandan’s obsessive relationship has concerned fans this season, which has continued even after Brandan moved to the Philippines to be with her. After Mary took him to church and scolded him continuously to not look at other girls, Brandan had enough and told her that her lack of trust in him couldn’t continue. Mary responded by having a panic attack and on Monday’s episode, Brandan told cameras he felt bad and that he should have confronted her “more gently.” Brandan explained that when he first started talking to Mary online, he was in a dark place.
“I was at the point of my life where I was like, done with everything,” he said. “I had an ex who cheated on me. I had a mom who was using. I didn’t feel like I was good enough for anyone, not even myself, and I tried to take my own life.”
Brandan broke down in tears and said that was when Mary reached out to him for the first time.
“Let’s just say it was like the literal definition of a life-changer,” he told cameras. “I clung on so hard. I love this woman, I do — which is why it hurts so much when I feel like I don’t have this trust because it brings me back to that state of mind where I’m not good enough and I’m trying really hard to just hold on.”
“I want her to say that she genuinely does trust me so that we can be together, married forever,” he also said. “Right now that is the most important thing to me. I really need that.”
Meanwhile, Mary said she just couldn’t stop herself from “overthinking.” She previously explained that her extreme jealousy and insecurity comes from being abandoned by her parents at a young age and her ex cheating on her repeatedly.
“I’m trying to stop this but I can’t,” she admitted of her behavior. “I’m afraid that Brandan will leave me even though I love him so much.”
Brandan reassured Mary that he loved her but said that her saying sorry was not the answer he was looking for — he wanted her to say that she trusted him. He noted that he gave up everything to be with her, but he was now having doubts about their future. The next morning, Mary said she was ashamed about her panic attack. She asked Brandan to give her time because she still felt like everyone was going to leave her no matter what she did. Brandan said he understood because of his similar past, and Mary said she would try harder to trust him.
“Just know that I love you and you’re so perfect and the man that I want, and I really want my future with you,” she told him as he got emotional. “I love you so much.”
Brandan noted, “The fact that she’s willing to try and trust me, I really needed her to say those words because to me that is everything.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.